Grandma Got Infected by a Trojan

(To the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer")


    Grandma got infected by a Trojan
    Checking out her email Christmas Eve
    Now you may say there's no such thing as badware
    But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been clicking on attachments
As we'd begged her not to do
But she had to see the JPEG
That promised views of Brad Pitt in the nude.

When I saw her PC later
I could only shake my head
When I tried to load the browser
I was prompted to buy fake AV instead.


Now I'm so proud of Grandpa
He tried to fix it by himself
Using proper AV tools
And working through the night like Santa's elf.

First he tried a scan in safe mode
Then he used a rescue disc
But eventually he realized
He'd have to reinstall to quell the risk.


On Christmas morning we shared presents
And for Grandma we'd all seen
That the best gift I could give her
Was to teach her how to keep her system clean.

First I told her about patching
Every plugin, app, and tool
Then I begged her and I pleaded
Not to download unknown files like a fool.


See also last year's cautionary holiday tale.

Here's wishing you a happy, safe, and secure holiday season!